"The Bachelor" Casting

I forgot to put this is my update! I am a semi-finalist to be cast in the next season of the Bachelor! I got a call from the casting director a few weeks back, and she told me that I was nominated and she thinks I would be great for the show. I was in total shock! Things like that dont happen to me! She has contacted me several time to make sure I was going to turn in all the needed paperwork. I also had to shoot a video. I did it myself, so it wasnt that great! haha

I doubt I make it b/c I'm for sure not THAT lucky. It was amazing to just make it this far and have a hollywood casting director think I was good enough to be on national tv. It was definitely a much need confidence boost. I'm actually not 100% that I would accept if asked now that so much has happened. I am really excited about starting my live in Texas, and this would put a delay on it. Who knows, though. You may see me on tv! lol

Until next time, GOD BLESS!....oh, and vote for Robert Bentley for Gov! ;o)

~Random Life Updates :o) ~

Wow, I didnt realize how long it has been since I wrote a blog! SO much has changed in my life since the last one. I actually ended up renting out my house the first of June. I have been in a job hiatus for a while and I knew that as long as I stay in Rainsville, Al, I will never be able to put my hard earned degree to use. Unemployment is so bad in Alabama, and the job front is bleak. After talking with a friend, I decided my best bet was to move out of state to find a job. So, Dallas here I come! Of course, its not only the job situation that made me decide to move. Anyone that knows me knows that I havent been happy here since graduation. I havent been happy with my personal life, career, and the small town life in general. There have been so many people who have done their best to try and bring me down, but now its time to show them that I am standing strong now!

I visited Dallas/Fort Worth for a couple of weeks and absolutely LOVED it. I stayed with a girl that will be my future roommate, and I am CERTAIN I couldnt ask for a better roommate that is actually emotionally stable! Good roommates are hard to find these days! lmao..Anyway, I can't really look for a job until I move, but I have a lot of people that are going to help me find something. Literally, in just 2 weeks I have found better and more reliable friends than I had/have in Alabama! lol I move the 1st of August and cant wait!

Until next time, I love you all and God Bless. :o)

~Dr. Bentley for Governor~

 Dr. Robert J. Bentley is running for Governor to grow the economy and create jobs without increasing taxes or spending. He is pro-life, pro-marriage, and pro-second amendment, and believes in smaller, more limited government with more transparency and accountability. He is best known as a successful small businessman who managed the growth of Alabama Dermatology Associates into the largest practice of its type in the Southeast. His peers also selected him as one of the "Best Doctors in America."
Check him out at http:// www.robertbentley2010.com/ .

Check him out on Youtube as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghlTfcYlAJI

Same-Sex Marriage

This started as a reply to my Aunts comment on facebook, but it ended up being long and I didnt want to "spam" her post. lol

I do believe a line has to be drawn somewhere. If marriage isnt mandated and same-sex marriage is allowed due to homosexuals exercising their national freedom, what happens when two cousins want to marry or a brother and sister, ect? To a lot of people that is along the same lines as same-sex marriage, b/c it goes against nature and the protocol of humanity. I personally couldnt care less if they marry or not, and it wouldnt really affect me either way. God certainly didnt give me the authority to judge their actions. I do understand the political opposition to it though. The great thing is that we are all entitled to our thoughts on the matter and one side speaking negatively about the other doesnt help. Its called hypocrisy. So, I therefore respect your view on the matter, Aunt Jeana. lol ;o)

oh my..."music" these days...

I seriously feel like I am like 60 stuck in the "dark" ages or something. I have always been a fan of the singer, Ciara. My friend told me to watch her new video for, "Ride." I was expecting a great video with her dancing, b/c she is a fab dancer. Boy, was I wrong. The entire video is vulgar and boarderline obscene. The song is about her "riding" and no, she isnt riding any type of vehicle! It was so repulsive to me that it made me tear up. That is what celebrities are feeding to children all over the world. Casual sex and vulgarity has become the norm. You can show sex of all sorts on daytime television, but you cant even say a prayer in school? You are reprimanded by the media for just wanting a day of prayer, but its ok to show people having sex, doing drugs, ect on television and through music? This is a sad, SAD world. I only pray that people will one day see the light...the light from above, and realize that things need to change.

Here is the video I was talking about so you can see exactly why I felt compelled to write another post today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp6W4aK1sbs

Until next time...God Bless

Stand Up for Arizona---Say NO to illegal Immigration!

Ok..it is time to get political! I am pulling my hair out listening to left wing IDIOTS (yes, I finally sait it) saying the it is racial profiling and wrong to ask someone for proof of citizenship! That is 100% ludacris! I have to show my drivers license and Social Security card for numerous things, what is the difference? States are having to take action against illegal immigration bc the White House is far too busy spending billions of dollars on irrelevance!

There is no excuse for trying to solidify illegal immigration. I read an articel from the NY Daily News saying that the Arizona Gov. "signed an immigration bill that spits in Lady Liberty's face." He goes on to say "Most likely, she imagines there is a difference between the Europeans who sought refuge here in times past and Hispanics who dare to cross into her state."

Ok, the Europeans that sought refuge here did it legally! There are many Hispanics and other nationalities that actually LEGALLY apply for citizenship. Actually, I have a friend from England that went through the necessary channels to get a visa. Then you have the ones that slide through our boarders illegally and reap the benefits of this country. They get free healthcare, food stamps, pay NO taxes, and are allowed to stay, why? When are we going to fight against this? How are we going to do it? The only way is to do just what Arizona is doing. I read a few comments to the NY Daily News article that I am going to share with you.

"Generally, I try to read through the comments before posting, but not today. Mr. Daly, in this instance, you are wrong. I won't rehash what I'm confident has already been pointed out: Gov. Brewer's ancestors came here legally. The Arizona law focuses on those who came here illegally. One might argue that the Arizona law uses a jackhammer when a ball peen would suffice, but the focus is still on illegality. But let's cut to the heart of the issue. Immigrants of time gone by came here to better themselves, but they invested themselves in this nation. They came here wanting to be Americans. They built up this nation. They adopted its customs and adapted to its ways. They learned the language of the land - English. Most of the wave of immigrants now don't have those same values. They do want to better their situation, but they work and send much of the income out of this nation. They take from society instead of building up society. They don't adopt America's customs and adapt to her ways. They don't learn the language of the land, but insist on government documents being printed in a multitude of tongues. They have radio and television stations that broadcast in other languages. That is the wedge of division that will ultimately end America."


"Mr. Daly, I can't believe you are comparing Governor Brewer's great-grandmother to illegal immigrants! You yourself point out that she entered America at Ellis Island. So where is the comparison to illegally entering America and Brewer's immigration law? My own relatives entered America at Ellis Island and not through the back door. Sure, come to America, but come to the front door and ask."


"As I see the great majority of people in Arizona are supporting this law. There is a big difference between someone you invite to enter your home and another that breaks in through a window. As for been upset or feeling "violated by having to show proof of citizenship or legal residence in the country", those do not seem to mind anymore than it bothers us to have to show an ID when we board a plane, as long as we avoid a terrorist getting in the plane with us. The protection of the majority should be placed above those who are a threat to our security and just use the services without taking their share of the duties. No country has put up with it more than the USA When over 1,000 New Yorkers sleep on the street to fill 100 jobs why should we hand out jobs to illegal aliens for less money. This like letting our children go hungry to feed a neighbor. This is misplaced charity and taxation without representation."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/forums/thread.jspa?threadID=95259#ixzz0mJYOpKCW


From what I have read at different places, the majority of the people support the Arizona Gov. You just have the liberal media and irrelevant "celebrities" talking against it. Its time the people stand up and say, enough is enough!

~Sunshine and butterflies :o)~

I always write serious blogs that either make you wanna cry or make you wanna run for political office to change the world. haha..So, I thought I would write a happy blog.

Of course, as I start everything, I have to start my happy blog praising the good Lord. Everyday, I feel closer and closer to HIM. Most days, on my way to work, I have a talk with God. I thank HIM for the day and allowing me to spend another day with the ones I cherish the most. I thank HIM for many, many things, and I say a prayer for everyone. That is just a perfect start to my day. :o) So, it had to be a perfect start to my blog.

First thing I want to talk about are my cousins, Crystal and Michael. They are currently in Hawaii about to adopt a beautiful 4 year old little girl. That will make their 3rd adopted child. Their first little boy was also adopted from Hawaii. As another gift from God, their second child was given to them my a lady that knew she couldnt give him the love and care that he needed. The lady from Hawaii that is giving them her daughter is also pregnant with another baby. She will be giving them him/her as well. To the ones that dont know Crystal and Michael, there are not any better people in the world. Their faith guides their lives and they have reaped all the benefits of living their life for the Lord. They are wonderful parents and I couldnt ask for better cousins. Michael married into the family and I couldnt love him any more if he was "blood." I just wanted to share that with everyone b/c you see things like this in movies and tv, but it happens in real life as well. :o)

Now, on to a more Hollie oriented discussion. DESIGN! I am redecorating my living room and having so much fun in the process! I have had the same decor and color scheme since Junior year! I thought I need a more contemporary look and feel! I decided to go with black furniture. I am using olive green with red accents as my color scheme. Im not sure how I am going to paint the walls yet. Any suggestions? I love to decorate! I wish I had a lot of money to do it right! Last year I decorated my bedroom with a Marilyn Monroe theme. I used white and pink color accents. When I finish my living room I will put up pictures!

Another "project/hobby" I am starting is guitar lessons! I am so excited! I am musically inclined anyway and thought guitar would be fun to learn. I may put together an all girl punk rock group. hahahaha... Applications and auditions will be available shortly. lol

Well, thats all for now! Until next time, God Bless! :o)

~Socialism?~

This new health bill is leaving me with steam coming out of my ears and my heart racing, so I figured it would be a good blog discussion. lol ...

I will start off on the positive things about the Bill, b/c there are some good things about it. I am looking at this from a citizen's non-partisanship view. I think it is good that children can stay on their parent's insurance until age 26. Children can currently stay on it during college, I think it is good that they can now stay on a few years after college during their job transition.

I like that insurance companies can no longer turn down someone due to a current illness. It is the ones that are sick that need the benefits of a good health plan. I also believe that if someone gets laid off from a job at no fault of there own and are actively seeking employment, they should receive insurance benefits during that transition phase.

Now, after stating the positives, on to the negatives. First off, an estimated 400 billion is going to be used in this endeavour. Yes, that adds to the already HUGE deficit we already have. We already added a huge amount to the deficit by bailing out huge corporations. With this added to it, the deficit is more than tripled. It took Bush 8 years to double the deficit. It only took Obama a year to more than triple it. To help with this added spending, citizens will have a large increase in taxes and fees starting in 2014. The economy is bad enough as it is. By forcing citizens and small businesses to shell out even more money, it will not help at all!

A second concern of mine is that I will have my hard earned money taken away from me to benefit someone that doesnt work at all. I already stated what I thought about someone that is actively seeking work, but this concern stems from those that just flat out dont want to work. That percentage is a lot higher than those who are looking for work. There are jobs out there. Sure, it may not be one that you want, but the jobs are there. It could be working for McDonalds or Walmart, or even being a waiter at a restaurant. Those are jobs you can have until something better comes along. So, there is NO excuse for receiving a hand out. I will use myself as an example. I currently work for a business that has been hit hard by the economy. I was laid off at one point and had to receive unemployment. Unemplyment is not a hand out b/c it is paid my mine and the business I worked for's taxes. In Alabama, you can receive unemployment benefits for up to 18 months. That is MORE than enough time to find employment. While on unemployment I was still given enough to pay my mortage, household bills, cell phone, and INSURANCE. Yes, I had to sacrifice some things. I had my home phone and internet cut off. I have no garbage pick up at my house. Those were easy sacrifices. It allowed me to still have health insurance. I pay $90 a month. It is not hard to save that much a month. There are no excuses for not having it. Make other sacrifices. So, for everyone that is saying that they cant afford insurance..I call BS. I already pay for illegal immigrants to have healthcare, I dont want to have to pay for everyone else's as well. Especially, when I make sacrifices and take action to pay for my own.

Now, on to the most important point. People are not seeing the big picture. Our personal health and freedom of choice has now been taken away from us! We are now required to buy insurance that is "acceptable" to the IRS. To the people that work and dont take hand outs, that is an added expense that we may have chosen not to have. We are now being forced and if we dont comply we will have huge penalties thrown at us. That goes against what this nation stands for. It defys the US Constitution. That will only be the beginning. If we allow this freedom to be taken away, it wont be long until others will follow.

Socialism- a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state.

Our healthcare is now being controlled by the government. It is complete socialism.

Communism- a system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed

Communism is usually considered to be a branch of socialism. Socialism and redistribution is not American. We are intended to be a free nation. That is referring to FREE from government. You can't be free from a government that involuntarily takes your money and redistributes it.

SO, this healthcare bill is clearly defying the US Constitution. Hopefully, that will be reason enough to do away with the bill. I am sure some will disagree with me. That is your FREEDOM. What will you do when that is taken away from you?

Until next time, GOD BLESS.

Letting go...and letting GOD.

It has been a while since my last post, and today I felt compelled to share with everyone a little something. If you have read any of my last posts it is no surprise that I have had a journey finding my way. I have dealt with many demons in the past and I still fight them daily. That is something we all fight, whether it is anxiety and stress from work, temptations from friends, or the devil putting many doubts in your head telling you that your life is just not good enough.

For years I have dreamed about achieving bigger and better things. I always wanted to be a successful lawyer and live in LA or New York. I always dreamed about the day I would achieve "greatness." I would have never guessed that dream would be taken away from me so fast. After my wreck it was hard enough getting through my Bachelors course work. The smallest things that were always so easy for me ended up being a challenge. I chose marketing as my major solely b/c I had to pick something, anything that would give me a bachelor’s degree so I could go to law school. I thought marketing would be fun, and my best friend was going to major in marketing, so I thought I would do the same. I look back now and try and think about what major I would have chosen if I knew that my law school dream would be taken away.

For years I have just been depressed at the what ifs. I would always feel like my dreams would never be fulfilled b/c it was taken away from me so early in life. I graduated college in 2007. I interviewed with a great company prior to graduation. The interview went well and I was asked to come in for a 2nd interview. During this, I was going through a LOT of emotional issues. Since my wreck, I never actually had time off to fully get better. It was a nonstop process that started with therapy and them me moving to Tuscaloosa to finish school. I didn’t realize the effect it all had on me. My mom convinced me to take a little time off before I stepped into the real world. So, I canceled my interview and moved back home for the summer. The end of the summer I started interviewing and got a job with a marketing firm in Atlanta. Within just a week I had to uproot my life. My first week on the job was fun and challenging. I was staying with a friend until my apartment was ready and I really enjoyed it...that is, until I am standing in Wal-Mart buying groceries and my mom calls me crying her eyes out begging me to move back home. She was convinced something terrible would happen to me. My mom had never cried like that to me. So, yep, I did as she said and moved back home. I was back maybe a month and I convinced my mom to "let" me move back to Tuscaloosa and find a job there. For some reason she felt better about that idea. I moved back to Tuscaloosa and started interviewing for jobs. I ended up getting a job with a photography company. It paid well enough and the opportunities for advancement were endless. I was set to spend a week in North Carolina to train at their headquarters. The week before I was supposed to go, I went home to see my niece, Mckenzi. She had leukemia and it was getting worse. In my heart I felt that I couldn’t leave my family during such a bad time. I declined the job offer and stayed home the week I was suppose to start training. I didn’t know it at the time, but if I would have decided to go to NC, I would have never seen my niece before she died. Afterwards, things in our family were not good. We all had to deal with losing a sweet angel. I told my dad that I wanted to move back home and asked him if I could work for him. That was October of 2007. It has been a little over 2 years and the grieving has passed, even though McKenzi stays in out thoughts and our hearts. I am still working for my dad. I pretty much have spent 3 years of my life in a state of depression. I worked so very hard to get my degree and I haven’t used it. I keep thinking that there is something out there for me, something that will finally make me happy and successful. I have had so many aspirations and I have yet to concur any of them.

I would pray for the Lord to help me get a great job in a city, and help me finally be happy. I would continue to ask for the things that I thought would finally bring me peace and happiness. I prayed every night for God to please help me fulfill my dreams. Nothing ever happened! I was still depressed and felt like my life was meaningless. Well, the past few months my relationship with God has grown so much. It is like I am a new person and it feels so wonderful. All of a sudden it hit me...I need to stop asking God for things I think I need and have FAITH that he will guide me to the things I really need. It is all about having faith. You can pray and love God and believe in him, but you have not truly let God in your heart until you give him 100% faith. When you do, you will find such a great peace. Sure, we may have moments where we start to wonder why our life isn’t where we think it should be. That is natural. It is when we realize that out life is what God makes of it, that we can truly be happy and at peace. I am excited at what God has planned for me. I just finally had to let go, and let God.

~New Day, New YOU.~

I have a book that I read daily called, "New Day, New You," by Joyce Meyer. It is a daily devotion that I try to always start my day off with. I found that when I am struggling with things, the scripture of the day usually relates in some way to what I am going through and feeling. One devotion stood strong with me this week.  Sometimes you think that when you may stumble and fall during your walk with God, you dont deserve to try and reach for His hand so He can help you back up. There have been many times that I thought that I was not worthy of the Lord's forgiveness. It all came down to me not being able to forgive myself. I have learned that when you have a strong relationship with God you realize that if HE can forgive you, you have to trust in that and know that it is ok to forgive yourself as well. I want to share with you the devotional for Feb. 2.

Receiving Forgiveness

       "If we [freely] admit that we have sinnes and confess our sins, He is faithful
      and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteoesness."
                                                                                          -1 John 1:9

Many years ago when I was first developing my relationship with the Lord, each night I would beg His forgiveness for my past sins. One evening as I knelt down beside my bed, I heard the Lord say to me, "Joyce, I forgave you the first time you asked, but you have not received My gift of forgiveness because you have not forgiven yourself."

Have you received God's gift of forgiveness. If you have not, and you are ready to do so, ask the Lord to forgive you for all your sins right now. Pray aloud. You will find that speaking aloud is often helpful to you because by doing so you are declaring your stand upon God's word. The devil cannot read your mind, but he does understand your words. Declare before all the principalities, powers, and rulers of darkness (SEE Ephesians 6:12) that Christ has set you free and that you intend to walk in that freedom.

When you speak, sound as though you mean it! If the devil tries to bring that sin to your mind again in the form of guilt and condemnation, repeat your declaration, telling him: "I was forgiven for that sin! It has been taken care of, therefore, I take no care for it. "


Those words have moved mountains for Me. I pray every night before I go to sleep. I hardly ever miss a night. I dont always pray out loud, but when I do, the next day I seem more at peace with myself and what I prayed about. Sitting here right now I am at peace, b/c I know that God is great and when you need him He will always be there...even if you think He is not.

~Politics, and your reasoning behind your views..~

Ever since I can remember, I have been a Republican. My dad was die hard, my mom was Independent, and the rest of my family just didnt care either way. The reasonings behind me being a republican were the main things, such as; working hard, paying taxes, fighting for Jesus' word, ect. I still live by those principles. Now days, you have conservative, moderate, liberal. I have been very consevative for as long as I can remember. I loved the Lord and was against anyone that tried to justify an action against Him. When you read that, it sounds very commendable. I have recently thought of the deeper meaning of it all.

Many, well, most republicans, are devout christians that believe in the word of God. Anything that they believed to be against God they would protest against. That is how I always was. I have recently looked deep within myself, my views and my faith. I came to the conclusion that I was a hypocrit! Yep, thats right, a hypocrit! Most of everyone I know are hypocrits! So many people supposedly live by the bible, but they actually only live by parts of it. It is very clear in the bible that no one has the authority to judge, accept the Lord all mighty! Many christians spend their lives dictating and judging everyone else. They never look at themselves or their own actions. That is how I was. I was wrong.

As an example, lets say two christians were sitting at a movie and saw to same sex individuals being intimate. Most "christians" would begin to whisper and judge those people. They would state how they are "going to hell" and that they are living a bad life. Who gave them the power to say who is and is not going to hell? NO ONE. That is not mine nor anyone elses power. Only God can judge. He is the ONLY one that has the right. All of us living in this world is told to love each other, as everyone is your brother or sister. Love is without judgement. Love is selfless and love is kind. Everyone needs to remember that and stop making excuses to "hate" or judge.

Am I still a republican???? Yes, without a doubt. Am I also liberal enough to not judge a person's choice?? Yep. I am. Look deep in yourself and maybe you will agree with me. Until next time...GOD BLESS!!!

Live Like It Is Your Last Day!!!

You know, sometimes we fall down and feel like we can't get back up. It is like we are all hiding behind skin that's really too tough. Think about it...how come we don't say I love you enough???? Has your life flashed before you? Have you ever wondered what you wish you WOULD'VE done???? Seriously, you really just have to look at the hand that God has given you!! It is really all you've got, so guys....start THINKING! If every second counts, which we all know that it does in God's eyes, live like its your LAST day alive! We only have 86.400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it away! You need to look at what you have been given in life....seriously, do you want to throw it all away? You, in a way, need to live like you are dying. Tell the people that you love them while you have the chance!!! If something deathly happens one day, who would you say your last goodbye to? You really need to be careful who you let out of your life, b/c if you were dying who would you want to be by your side??? Think about it!

~The Friendship Evolution~

When you think of friendships of past and present, do you ever think about my blog title? When you are younger and in high school you have your set group of friends, and you have your BFF. You make plans with your best friend and talk about going through life together and having kids at the same time..ect. In your heart, you really believe your friendship will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, it is a proven fact that a mere 20% of those friendships last. You may personally move in a different direction in your life, or your friend does. If you are the one that gets left behind in the friendship evolution, it can be a hard let down. How am I such a professional in this arena??? Well, all I have to say is... been there, done that!

Yes, (*tear*, *tear*), I have, more times than once, been the one left behind. I will start with example 1.  I had my high school best friend. We were so close and were 2 peas in a pod. We never fault and always had each other's back. That was true until college, sophomore year. She got a new, hot, older boyfriend. The boyfriend became the priority, situations pursued, and...well, that best friendship didnt last. Example 2: I met my soul sister(or, well, I thought) freshmen year in college. We met and we pretty much instantly clicked. Within no time we were inseperable! Something tragic happened to me, and I was almost killed in a car wreck. Things were so hard for me, but she was always there...at first. Guess what? She got a new boyfriend and began to change. This is a very long story that I cant even begin to get into.  All I can say is that the situation with her scarred me for life.  I am tearing up now just thinking about it. Wow, I didnt realize how hard it would be to talk about this! You guys have no idea how big of a step this is for me! These are emotions that have been building up for years!

Well, on to example 3: This best friend was not expected! haha..Lets just say that most of high school I was the butt of her many jabs! lol..The end of senior year we finally had a class together and she actually got to know me, and vice versa. You know what? We actually liked each other and became friends! Sophomore year in college she became my go to girl! We were the closest of friends and went through a lot together. She was like my sister.  In all honesty, she still is. She has been a constant in my life since college. Even during the other "best friend" ordeal, she was still there. She kind of graduated to "sister" in my eyes. Hmmm...I dont know if she even realizes that! Then, the friendship evolution started. haha..Yep...she got married. Now, I may see her a few times a year. She has new priorities and Im not a part of it. It really kills me, but I cant be angry about it. She fell in love and got married. When you get married your life changes. She started back college and got new friends. Those friends fit into her life better than I do, I guess. It is very sad for me, but its true.

I think that a lot of people can relate to this. Especially, if you are in the evolutionary short end of the spectrum! Lucky for me I have rebounded with a couple great friends. One I talk to probably 50 times a day about EVERYTHING! The other I dont see often due to both of our busy schedules, but I will ALWAYS have her back and I know without a doubt she will always be there. She is someone I went to school with starting in kindergarden! You know what??? We werent even friends in high school! Crazy, huh?! lol...Ah, if it wasnt for the great technologies of our time! haha

So, that is my "friendship evolution." Its life and it happens. If you are the one to evolve, you are happy and live a fulfilling life. If you are the one left behind, you are struggling for acceptance. You just have to learn to deal. Until next time, God Bless!!! : o)

My Road To Pasadena.

I recently embarked on a cross county trip to Pasadena (LA), California to cheer on my team during the BCS National Championship game. Of course, I didnt actually drive. It would have taken days and considering I went with my brother, one of us wouldnt have made it there alive! It is no surprise to the people that know me and my brother, Tykie, that we are nothing alike. We have one thing in common, our love for Alabama football, thats it. That being said, I'm not going to get into the many, many bad things about my trip. I will just give my opinion on the places we went and the things we saw. We ended up meeting 2 of my cousins, so that made things more bareable.

First things first. We decided to fly into Vegas and rent a car to drive to Pasadena. Of course, that was not my idea b/c if you know me I get very car sick. It is about a 4 hour drive to LA, so not fun at all.  We arrived in Vegas monday night around 9. We got our rental car and headed to our hotel, the Plaza Hotel and Casino. The hotel is in downtown Vegas, which is the "old" part of town. When we walked in it reaked of cigarette smoke terribly! Not great for my allergies to say the least. The Plaza was the place to stay 50 years ago, and let me tell you, it has not been renovated since! So, needless to say, dont stay there if you plan on visiting Vegas! I got absolutely no sleep Monday night, due in part from the rock hard bed and pillow and the snoring of my brother. We also stayed up very late playing blackjack. I had never played before and it was sooo much fun! I blackjacked like 25 times in total! Lets just say that I played on $40 for hours! I didnt win anything, but it was fun. The next morning we went to the Hoover Dam. It was a neat thing to see. Scenery type things arent that exciting to me, but it was nice to see. Later on in the afternoon, I made everyone go to Cesaers Palace on the strip. That is a place you MUST go if you are a woman! The palace is a hotel, casino, mall, many restaurants, Planet Hollywood, spa, ect..all rolled in one! I wanted to actually go shop and look around but all everyone else wanted to do was ganble. So, I didnt get to enjoy all the things the palace had to offer.  It was very beautiful though. It is so huge that you need a full day to devote to it. I ended up going to take a nap while everyone else gambled away. That night we went to the comedy club in Harrah's and it was so much fun. One of the comedians was a total hottie too.  :o)  That was our last night in Vegas. All in all it was fun, but nothing like they make it seem on tv. I didnt drink, so that could be a reason. My idea of a good time isnt getting drunk on the strip in Vegas and acting a fool. I do want to go back soon with friends. It would be a lot more fun experiencing things with my girlfriends!

Now, the next morning rolls around and we were supposed to leave at 6am since we had a 4 hour drive. There were so many things I wanted to do and see in LA! I have wanted to go there pretty much my entire life! Well, surprise, I couldnt get anyone out of bed. It took me TWO hours to get my brother out of bed and I called my cousins nonstop with no answer. We ended up getting out of vegas and on the road around 10. We had tickets to go to the People's Choice Awards, so I knew due to LA traffic and everything we would need to start getting ready around 3. They closed the doors at 5:30 at the Nokia Theatre, where the show was being held. If you were late you just didnt get in! We got into Hollywood (where our hotel was) with no time to spare. We only walked the boulevard and looked around for a bit. We had no time to go anywhere since I couldnt get anyone out of bed earlier. We had to rush to get to the People's Choice Awards on time. My dad told me that LA rush hour or actually hours, starts at 3. I had to finish getting ready in the cab. My hair was pulled back and I didnt get the look I was going for! I mean, what if I saw a hot celebrity and they fell in love with me at first sight! I needed to look good for the cameras!! haha ;o ) We finally got seated and we had very good seats! The first celebrity we saw in the theatre was Chevy Chase. We quoted things from Vegas Vacation nonstop the day before, so it was exciting to see him! lol ... I was so very surprised how different celebrities look in person!  They say that the camera adds 10 pounds. Ten?! More like 15 for some! I was very disappointed in how Jessica Alba looked. I always thought she was gorgeous and had the best body! She was very tiny! Not in a good way to me. She was way to small and her skin was a bit brokeout. It is odd that I watched the show on tv afterwards and you couldnt even tell! Jessica alba is just normal. Not perfect like many of us have always thought! Then, you have Taylor Swift. Someone needs to feed her a hamburger ASAP! She looks small on tv, so imagine her about 10-15 pounds smaller! Then, there was the beautiful Sandra Bullock! She was smaller that she appears on tv, but she was a healthy small. She was absolutely ravishing!  She is in her 40s and looks AMAZING! Another one that stood out was Ellen. I love Ellen and like to watch her show whenever I can. She was very small and looked kind of sickly. Maybe she was just sick or something. Another person that caught my attention was Mariah Carey. Of course, Mariah will ALWAYS be beautiful, but she has gained a LOT of weight since marrying Nick Canan! Her dress was so tight, so I am gussing it was to hold her in. Her huge boobs were popping out the side. When she made her way to the stage to accept her award she could barely walk and almost fell! I thought it was b/c of the dress. Well, I thought that before I heard her speak! haha... Mimi was a bit intoxicated, but it was funny. All in all, I noticed that celebrities are just normal people with the same issues we all have. They have the cellulite like 99% of all females have! That was apparent since a lot of them wore short dresses. They still looked beautiful. So, it was helpful for the self-esteem to see that no one is perfect.

The next day we got up early and made our way to hollywood boulevard. We decided to take a trolly tour. (not good for your hair.. haha)... The tour took us to see the Hollywood sign, Paramount, Hollywood Bowl..thats about it. I was VERY disappointed. Afterwards, we didnt have much time for anything. I wanted to see Rodeo Drive, Melrose, Calabasas, Dash, ect..I didnt get to go to one of those places! I was so bummed! :o( ...We made our way to Pasadena and the parking was easy, but a long walk! I wasnt impressed with the Rose Bowl at all. Its ok, though, b/c WE WON!!! :o) I have mucho respect for Texas. They were very friendly and classy. We were on the Texas side and our camera's battery died. One of the texas fans asked what kind of memory card we had and said we could use his camera. That was very nice of him. If only fans were that nice in south Alabama!

Well, I didnt think this would be sooo long! I guess I added another book to my collection! lol .. Until next time...God Bless!

My First Entry!

I have had this blog it seems forever. I just never got around to actually writing anything. I use to wonder why anyone would want a public diary for everyone to read. I have recently found that writing your thoughts and feelings can be very therapeutic. Especially, for someone like me that finds it hard to talk to people about things and confront issues head on. I am the type to always hold things in until it eats away at me. There have been so many times that if I would have just confronted something it would have ended up a lot better. I recently found out that I have anxiety disorder and have had it my whole life. I didnt even know it! I have always been sooo afraid to speak my mind or say what I really feel during any type of heated issue. I would just bury it.

Well, now I have learned to not take life so seriously all the time and be able to just be, Me. Who am I? Well, I am a normal person that had a lot of trials throughout life. I made many, MANY mistakes that I wish I could just erase. Of course, you cant erase things. Life is all about trial and error. It molds you into the person you were always meant to be, and always knew you really were. I am just happy that I got everything out of my system at only 24. Sure, there are many people that love to judge and think they know who I am. Well, I can say that 95% of what people think are true about me arent at all. When you are from a small town people love to gossip. People put people down to somehow make themselves look better. Those are the people I add to my prayers every night, and yes, I can honestly say there is not a night that goes by that I dont pray before I go to sleep. It is those prayers that saved me.

Saved me from what? Well, lets just say I was on a path of destruction. Losing my niece to cancer a couple years ago sure didnt help. The fact that not one of my "friends" took the time to even come to the funeral or visitation didnt help. There were a couple people that sent me condolences through a message on facebook. I want to thank those people so much. If you are reading this you know who you are. Not having anyone beside me to help me go through such a terrible thing really threw me for a loop. Sure, I had my family, but they were going through the same thing I was. So, they couldnt really help talk me through things. One thing that really stung was that I had a friend that lost another friend a few years back. I was there for her at the funeral and literally let her cry on my shoulder. I didnt even get an "I'm sorry" message from her. So, all of that was just the tip of the iceburge. I began to think that maybe I just wasnt worth it. I began to just not care about myself, much less have any self-respect. I was to the point that I just didnt care anymore. I was sick of caring what people thought. I was sick of crying over friends that you thought always had your back, but really didnt. It was the people that I put most of my trust in that let me down the hardest. If you truely love your friend, nothing can come between your friendship, b/c you can and WILL always work though differences. Much to my dismay, I was almost without that.

Am I perfect? Was I ever perfect? NO. I was part to blame for many things that have happened over the past few years. To everyone that knows what happened to me in 2005, you may realize how things were harder for me. If you dont know, well, lets just say I had a car wreck that would end up changing my life forever. I was so stubborn afterwards and wanted to go back to school more than anything (I was suppose to transfer to UA only months after my wreck.) I didnt allow time for myself to heal. I didnt realize that I wasnt in the right frame of mind to handle any type of high pressure or anxiety. Things were rough to say the least. I would always say that I was fine, but that was far from the truth. I am very grateful for the people that knew what I was going through and stuck with me throughout it all. You will never know how truely grateful I am.

Looking back now to my college days, I dont recognize that person. That wasnt me. I made choices that I knew were not the right ones. I tried to change who I was to fit into the crowd. Actually, in junior high I had the absolute best friends. I was in the band and really loved it. It was something I was actually really good at! I won many awards and metals and was #1 in the county for a couple years. I also loved cheerleading, and dancing was my passion. I had to make a choice of which activity to persue, b/c they had conflicting schedules. I chose cheerleading. If I could go back in time that would be one of the first things I would change. In high school I was a very quite and shy person. I wasnt the hyper cheerleader that was the life of the party. People would take my quiteness as being stuck up and rude. I knew that wasnt true, and I didnt want people to think of me that way. I started hanging out with different people and started going out more, especially the end of my senior year. I just forgot who I was. That lasted 5 years. You know what? There is no way I am going to let 5 years out of 24 define me as a person. So, if you want to call me to go to a wild drunken party, dont (well, unless your need a DD.) lol...Thats a part of my life I will not go back to. Will I judge you for doing it? Absolutely, not! I dont care if you are gay, straight, crazy, white, black, or even a liberal (lol.) Only God can judge. Sure, I love a good debate and love to argue, but there is a huge difference in stating your personal opinion and hating and judging someone for expressing theirs. Everyone should remember that. HAVING YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, PERSONAL VALUES, and OPINIONS doesn't mean that you are speing HATE. (sorry, had to get that off my chest as well. lol)

How am I now? Well, Im not going to say things are perfect. I am still dealing with life and I still find it hard to forgive myself for many things. All that matters is that I put my life in God's hands and I will never let go. All I need is His forgiveness, and He knows my heart. God is great, kind, and without judgement. He loves me no matter what I had to go through to finally realize it. With God by my side nothing is impossible. I can not stress enough how powerful prayer is. My story is my gift to you to show you that things really do happen for a reason, even the bad. It was going through all my troubles that led me to where I am now, and let me tell you, it truely is brighter on the other side. God Bless. :o)